I always used to say that I'd feel uninspired to create much when I'm happy. Everything's just skin deep when it comes to knowledge and inspiration so far, so I'm kind of hanging on a cliff on this one.
Drugs and alcohol have played it's part in my life. It hasn't been as much as it did before, thank god? Not too sure about anything anymore. That used to be a big fear of mine. I'm gradually growing out of that era/faze but I'm not gonna lie; I know it's gonna crawl back to me now and again just as it did two weeks ago.
Anyways, the things that I'd pleaded for, revolved my life around, chased after all these years just aren't as appealing as they were to me back then. Everything grows to be monotomous and comfortable. I don't even know if that's good or bad.
Loss is something I've trained myself to get used to. I think that's the only thing I'll stay pleased with about myself. It's not that I'm careless. I just haven't learned anything new from it since it's all happened before. It's feeling isn't new. The outcome isn't new either.
I'm neither happy nor sad these days, but at least I'm content.
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