95% of fights are over something stupid and unecessary. I feel more content today.
I still don't know what to do with my life when I'm in that whole logical mindset. When I think logically, I get so depressed. Moreso.
This morning I had a weirdass dream. Rhianna was a philosopher and she was talking to me and said, "The problems of today are solved by yesterday's history." WEIRD.
Drugs and boyfriend. They've done so much to me. When I stop, I start again. It's pretty pathetic. Other times it's nothing really. They've both made me gain and lose so much concerning weight, knowledge, sense, money.. They're always what I write about. How annoying. I just want to be happy and empty sometimes.
I've learned when to turn a blind eye in relationships. Finally. If he hasn't hit you, hasn't even cursed at you EVER, never cheated on you, loves his family, has a good father, has goals, sticks around and chases you after every fight (including ones you've started), then he's a keeperThen he's willing to grow up. Then he's well worth the time. I get so worked up and selfish and idealistic that it just makes me wanna drop everything. But nothing worth something is easy to obtain. I need to just simply remember that.
I wish I had the knowledge of a 100 year old already. Why the fuck do I always try to diagnose myself? Jesus.
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