Everyone knows that I'm awkward as hell. Attention, sex, weed, alcohol.. Release and relief are so fucking temporary. They aint mutherfuckin answers. I'm not out there snuffing out for my next fix/victim, no way in hell am I going back to that. I'm not a tease, nor am I a whore, drug addict, or drunk. But I'm not gonna deny that I haven't been any of those in the past. Now that I've got nothing these days, I don't really know where to go. I don't wanna turn back to those things when the anxiousness overflows all over again.
I feel like I've stooped down into the shallow ass mindset that I've spent years being against. What the fuck is right and what the fuck is wrong? Who the hell am I even trying to please? 'Cause obviously I'm not happy here. At least today I'm not. I feel like I'm missing something and I don't wanna come off as one of those weak, insecure, airheaded girls but that is exactly what I have become and that is definitely not me at all..
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