Before I've even reached this point in my life, I'd already grown into the type of person who would just rather not know. I've already lost and learned years ago. Nothing's ever new to me; always to the person/stranger I'm with at the time. Finding out the details just hurts and I'd just rather not know 'cause I hate feeling that kind of low you feel when you've realized that you've been fucked over. What a waste. Sometimes I unintentionally relive it all in my mind and it feels so real. The worst kind of daydreams are the ones that I can't control; they're the types that actually have the ability to effect me so harshly because I've lived through it somehow before. Looking back on such dark times is like a drug.
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